What to Leave Out of Your Memoir
I’ve read more than one memoir manuscript that total over 175,000 words. Your typical memoir on the shelves at Barnes & Noble or your local indie clocks in anywhere between 60,000 and 80,000 words. That’s over half of the manuscript that needs to be cut! But how do you know what to leave in your memoir and what to leave out? And if you leave content out, are you still being truthful? Every memoirist will grapple with these questions, and thankfully, the answer is simple.
But first, I need you to remember one crucial truth about memoir writing:
You are writing a story for a reader.
Your memoir is not a journal or a personal history. Your memoir is a story, complete with a narrative arc, characters, and a central conflict. You are writing your memoir for a reader, and that story needs to be crafted with intention and focus. Deleting content from your memoir isn’t personal—it’s writing.
So, let’s get down to business. You need one tool to help you know what stays in your memoir and what goes. I call it your thesis.
What is a thesis?
You’ll see writers and editors use a different term for your thesis—your hook, your elevator pitch, your theme. I like the term thesis because it is succinct while also indicating a deeper level of purpose and thought. Your thesis is the statement that will anchor your writing from beginning to end, serving you all the way through edits and even marketing. A thesis reminds you what your story is about and why your reader should care.
How to use a thesis
When you create your thesis, you’re creating an automatic filter for your writing. Every single story and idea you think to write about must pass through your thesis: If it doesn’t support your thesis, it belongs in a different manuscript. (And you don’t have to delete those cut paragraphs forever! Paste those darlings into a separate document for you to use another time. No writing you ever do in memoir will be for naught.)
Anytime you feel lost or stuck, your thesis can recenter your thoughts and remind you of why you’re writing what you’re writing. Your thesis is your north star.
What belongs in a thesis
Scott Norton, author of Developmental Editing: A Handbook for Freelancers, Authors, and Publishers, says this about a thesis:
A thesis can beguile, inspire, enrage—whatever works to grab the readers’ attention. It should promise readers an intellectual adventure; it should be at least a smidgen outrageous. A thesis is a gauntlet thrown down before the reader, daring them to think back.
He goes on to list the three most crucial elements in a thesis:
point of view
originality
revelance
A strong thesis will check those three boxes and will chart you a steady course through your writing, keeping you away from anything that doesn’t serve this particular story.
The magic of a thesis
Here’s what I love about a thesis: It takes (almost) all of the emotion out of the revision process. Your thesis is this neutral tool that makes it laughingly simple to decide what to cut. Imagine sitting down to revise and being able to confidently remove emotion from the revising process, because the truth is that editing isn’t personal. Your thesis is a safe boundary between your emotions and your manuscript, a firm and gentle reminder that while every part of your story matters, not every part belongs in this telling of your story.
The answer to What do I leave out of my memoir? is simple—but crafting a thesis isn’t necessarily easy. If you want more help with this process, you’ll love my group program The Memoir Method. Together we’ll help you craft a thesis that will work that magic for you! Join the waitlist and be the first to know when doors open again!
